Traditionally, Hindus like to have the ashes spread on the Ganges Rivers waters in India. Suit and ties for men and dresses for women, usually in greys or dark colors, are common clothing choices. Hindu Quotes of Condolence and Healing. To this end, even a simple note will suffice. You can quickly highlight a friends accomplishments without getting too wordy while acknowledging their belief systemsas a general way of living. Medical decision making is among the most complex tasks known to man; and not all decisions lead to a positive outcome, although taken in good faith. Friends may call or visit family members of the deceased to offer their condolences upon hearing of the death and may bring flowers to them at that time. The rituals will reflect a time of service and mourning, showing the familys dedication to Hindu teachings, beliefs about death, and honoring the memory of the deceased. generalized educational content about wills. The flowers are placed at the feet of the deceased. The family primarily staying in the family home during this time. Some friends have the knack for hitting all the right notes and saying all of the right things. Throughout this time, families may display a picture of their loved one, adorned with a garland of flowers, somewhere in their house. The grieving family may be visited by many wishing to express their sympathies and the time any individual can spend with them may be quite limited. Moments with the family will usually be driven by the number of people waiting to offer their condolences. He would tell you that mourning only keeps you from fulfilling your role as head of this family. What customs and traditions should I be aware of so that I can be respectful? Your clear expression of sympathy and caring for your coworker is what matters the most. If you do, it may cause an annoyance as the family or funeral director will have to . This is an important death ritual, which usually takes place throughout the mourning period. Hindu funeral rituals decree that cremation is the custom, but the deceased body remains in the home of the family until you move it to the cremation place. Sometimes, it is just for the family. Every one of the rituals within the Hindu ceremonies is a reality check to help us confront our grief, interact with it, accept it and keep going on--both in life and spiritually.". Your personal condolence note would be especially kind, too. Responding to a Clients Note of Appreciation, Addressing a Former President of the United States, Complete Guide to Writing Thank You Notes, Attire Guide: Dress Codes from Casual to White Tie, Five Tips for Looking Crisp and Keeping Cool in the Workplace, How to Help When Someone is in the Hospital, Definition of Etiquette - Consideration, Respect and Honesty, Wedding Etiquette 101: Everything You Need to Know. Are you sure you want to Unsubscribe from Malayala Manorama News letter/ Alert. She lived her life to its fullest, so we should celebrate her life to honor her legacy. Visiting in person and/or attending one or more of the traditions and rituals the visitation, wake, or shiva, the funeral or memorial service, and the burial or final resting service can be appropriate and will be appreciated by the mourning family. what to say to someone who has experienced a death, How to Express Sympathy: What to Say and What Not to Say. The last thing the family wants at such a difficult time is advice. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply. We are very sorry for your loss. After a person succumbs to illnesses such as cancer, some visitors make public assertions about magical cures that have no scientific validity, claiming that the person could have been alive through such means. Brief words like I am sorry for your loss or You are in our thoughts and prayers are both meaningful and comforting. Oh, I forgot I think she was also wearing lip gloss!. Such decisions are often based upon the circumstances of the family and the level of their commitment to the traditions of Hinduism. Well take you through some examples of condolences or sympathies below and try to iron out whats commonplace or whats appropriate in specific contexts. Today, many take their ashes to a nearby place to their home. This period usually lasts for 10 days. We'll help you get your affairs in order and make sure nothing is left out. Would she like to have a reception for some or all of the attendees of the memorial service? We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service Whilst it is favourable to do this within 24 hours, it is widely accepted amongst the Hindu community that the administrative process will take longer in the UK. Perhaps your friends child died as a teenager and didnt have a chance to go to university or get married for many reasons. 13. His commitment to creating a better world was apparent in every project he started. It is proper to visit and be with the family during this time. One must specifically avoid words that trivialise the event, some hilarious examples being: I cant believe he is deadhe looks like he might just get up any minute! On behalf of my family, I want to say how sorry we are for your loss. That being said, our approach to the bereaved cannot be generalised beyond a point; each situation is unique, as is each family. For many people who have experienced a death, it can be helpful to know that their closest friends and family are thinking of them and are available to help. Will it be a private or open service? Only one rule should guide you in writing sympathy messages: say what you truly feel. Distant relatives and more casual friends and acquaintances may prefer visiting the family at the funeral home. Send hand-selected and thoughtful gifts appropriate for those of the Hindu faith to let them know you care. You are lucky he went early!, I know how you feel, I was devastated when my cat died last year!. If you're completely overwhelmed by the prospect, and feel that you must decline, it's okay to do so. Most 10-year-olds are ready for this type of experience, as long as they are accompanied by a parent or someone else close to them. . Then, organize help with phone calls and the preparation of a newspaper announcement. For the family, the trauma of having to retell the story over and over can be horrific. 6. Additionally, they are not to touch or go near the family shrine. After that, the body has to be cremated. Discussions about unhealthy habits leading to an early demise can be reserved for later. If this cultural shift is your cousins history, it might be appropriate to mention that distinction to honor them both after. Sacrifice is not uncommon for Hindus, even if internalized. This is generally the case with professional colleagues and associates, community and religious organization members, and other acquaintances. There are all kinds of people in the world with vastly contrasting belief systemseach convinced that theirs is the right version. Certain Hindus may choose to remain at home during the mourning period and not visit the temple. Generally, one can expect to listen to mantras being chanted around the deceaseds body at a house funeral. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. If its not possible to visit there, then make a phone call. (n.d.). Thank the family for offering the honor to you. People sometimes blurt out statements in the hope of comforting the grieving, but achieve exactly the opposite. It's fine to ask others to share their memories and weave them into your eulogy. Hindu funerals usually take place within 24 hours of death. Cake offers its users do-it-yourself online forms to complete their own wills and Check with another neighbor or look in your local newspaper for an obituary or death notice. Pinterest. Hinduism, like other great religions, has specific rituals for honoring the deceased and addressing a family's grief. In summary, visiting a grieving family requires good knowledge of etiquette as outlined above. In our cosmopolitan society, its not uncommon to know or work with people from all over the world. 1. Upon hearing the news of a young woman who died in a car crash, a purported well-wisher arrived at the parents home and declared: What sort of parents would allow a young woman to drive a car alone to work at night? Such words only deepen the pain and guilt that the parents are already suffering. The loss of a child is particularly devastating for parents, and it is totally wrong to pass such remarks that implicate their role in the childs death. Good and bad manners do exist about visiting the bereaved, albeit with some variation between cultures. If this cultural shift is your cousins history, it might be appropriate to mention that distinction to honor them both after offering condolences. Those people are greatly missed as they create such a hole for those they leave behind. Guests may attend the cremation, but if they do not want to, they may depart after the service. A Hindu priest will be invited to visit and to purify the house with incense, prayers and mantra. There is a tendency to judge whether the person deserved to die the way he or she did. Seeing other friends and family members at the service may prompt conversations and shared stories about the deceased, lengthening the time of the visit. She may depend on you entirely or she may wish to participate in the planning and have you take care of the details. Some people are able to manage the delivery of a eulogy with aplomb; others can't even bear to think about doing so. Envisioning Fatherhood: Indian Fathers' Perceptions of an Ideal Father. The preta-karma serves to assist the soul of the deceased person moves to the new body in the reincarnation cycle. This depends on personal preferences. There is no need to cover the head. The Hindu religion believes that when a person dies, his soul goes into another body. Recognizing and honoring this belief means that you grasp the idea of. Blaming the family for not choosing another hospital or doctor is a common and futile exercise that occurs at bereaved homes. As a general rule, the closer your relationship to the bereaved, the sooner you should contact him or her. Letting the bereaved know that you are thinking of him or her and that you care can mean a lot. Usually, Hindu families arrange the funeral ceremony within 24 hours after death. In an attempt to get noticed by everyone, some folks have a tendency to be loud and overdo their visit. The body of the deceased should be released as quickly as possible to enable the family to prepare for the funeral. It could be anything from a gift of fooda casserole, a fruit basket, or some brownies for the family and their visitorsto an offer to house out-of-town relatives or friends. There are several ways to show honor and to respect the memory of the departed, including visiting in person. Mourners customarily choose to wear simple, white clothing to the funeral, although this is not a religious requirement, and a Hindu priest usually leads the prayers. Here, the priest oversees every activity. May she rest in peace. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. It is unborn, eternal, permanent, and primeval. Today we offer a wide range of books, online resources, training programs for all ages and topics, a weekly podcast and a selection of greeting cards and paper products. They also believe that the souls next incarnation depends on the personskarma (actions during their previous life). We often hear people say things like Dont be sad, Dont cry, It is all for good, I know how you feel, He is in a better place now in an attempt to provide comfort. Such people can be heard passing comments like When you look at her, she doesnt come across as someone who just lost her husband. The Awesome Etiquette podcast is a weekly Q&A show where hosts, (cousins, and co-presidents of the Emily Post Institute,) Lizzie Post and Dan Post Senning answer audience questions, tackle etiquette topics in detail and salute good etiquette witnessed by the Awesome Etiquette audience.